When we last left off, it was 5AM Christmas morning and I began building a Lego house, this woke my father who came to my room and told me to go back to bed. I did, but then the unauthorized construction commenced again.

If you missed the last installment, visit Life Stories

Lesson #6: Never Volunteer Information!

My dad had returned to my bedroom and he was not filled with Christmas spirit. At that very moment, I was about 5 feet away from the foot of the bed that I shared with my brother. Acting purely on instinct, my father’s higher brain functions didn’t kick until after 8AM on weekends, he grabbed me by the back of my pajama top and the butt portion, let out a primordial roar, he then flung me up in the air towards my bed, and walked out of the room as I flew towards my bed.

I swear to you that all this is 100% true, including this next part. At the very second that I reached the apex of my involuntary flight trajectory and was floating several feet above the bed, my brother opened his eyes and saw me floating above him and coming down onto my side of the bed. He freaked out! He told me that for a moment he really believed that I could just fly. That maybe every night while he slept, I was flying around the room and never told him about my superpowers. I naively confessed to him that my flight had been Dad powered, but in retrospect I should never had confessed, I should have left him thinking that I could fly and maybe had other secret superpowers too and he would have believed it.

Leave a Reply